A lady was looking for a turkey but
couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get
any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No, they're dead."
What do turkeys like to eat on
Nothing; they are already stuffed.
Is turkey soup good for your health?
Not if you're the turkey.
Why did the turkey bolt down his food?
Because he was a gobbler.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To show that he wasn't chicken.
Did you hear about the government officials who talked
They spoke gobbledygook.
Or, as the mother turkey said to her daughter as she wolfed down her meal,
"Don't gobble your food."
Why are turkeys so good at arithmetic?
Because they count the number of chopping days until Thanksgiving.
Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks.
Why did the band leader save the drumsticks from
thirty- eight turkeys?
Because he wanted seventy-six tom bones.
Why do turkeys have such a persecution complex?
Because they're cut to pieces, they have the stuffing knocked out of
them, and they're picked on for days after Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving in the UK: A few years ago, an American
and a British journalist were discussing Thanksgiving on a British radio
program. The American asked if Thanksgiving was celebrated in the UK.
"Yes," the British journalist replied, "but we celebrate it on the 6th of
"That's when you chaps left."
As the leftover turkey said after it
was wrapped up and refrigerated,
And one mushroom joke:
What do you
call the mushroom who went into the bar and bought everyone a drink?
stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Never have a lump.
May your cranberries be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!